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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?